![]() ![]() That’s a lot of things!! The other great thing about this list is that it differentiates between what you feel comfortable with for yourself and what you feel comfortable with a partner doing. This is probably one of our favorite lists because it’s so comprehensive! It covers body boundaries, words and terms, relationship models and choices, safer sex and overall safety items and behaviors, sexual responses, physical and/or sexual activities, non-physical (or not necessarily physical) activities and birth control/reproductive choices. 1) Scarleteen’s Yes, No, Maybe List: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist Here are a few of our favorite lists that you can find for free online. Some are better for BDSM play, some are focused on open relationships or polyamory and some are more generalized. There are lots of different lists out there with different focuses. This is a tool we recommend everyone have in their sex toolbox, especially when you might be having sex or starting a relationship with a new partner or partners. That is why we absolutely LOVE the idea of a Yes/No/Maybe list, also known as a sexual inventory checklist. Maybe you have a hard time actually getting the words out of your mouth! Maybe we aren’t aware of all the diverse types of sex people can have, or you’re worried about how your partner might react when you tell them what you want to try. Sometimes we need a prompt to help us figure out what we want to talk about. At Self Serve, we know communication is easier said than done. The answer is almost always communication!īut telling people “You need to communicate about sex with your partner” often isn’t enough information to help people feel confident when it comes to talking about sex. NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).Ġ No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit).Ģ Willing to do, but has no special appeal.ģ Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.Ĥ LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.ĥ WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.Our Favorite Yes/No/Maybe Lists Available Online People ask us all the time how they can have better sex, spice it up, or try something new. * I will do with current sex partner only. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity. There is intentionally some overlap between categories. For example under diapers you might wish to distinguish between " wetting" and " soiling". Note any additional information or nuances which might be important for your Dom to know in the margin to the right.Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play partners.5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis. ![]() 3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular / occasional basis.2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it.NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit)."?" means you don't understand what the item is attempting to describe.For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender. For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.Switches should go through the checklist twice one person's Dom and sub interests may be very different.įor each item, you need to provide two answers: Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. This checklist should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/ Top before playing with them. ![]()
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